Dolls and Pimps
by Unclear Destiny
Summary: Muraki's a weirdo, Hisoka's a pimp and Tsuzuki is up for sale! Rating for overall weirdness, crossdressing and refernces to prostitution.


Disclaimer: Don't own YnM

A/N: This is actually a sort of gag on the story tha I'm currently writing. XD Not to be confused with the Obsessed Hisoka. Hmmm...Hisoka wielding an axe dressed like a doll. I gotta try that...

"You're a pervert, you know that right?"

"Yes, bon, I know."

"What's up with you and Tsuzuki, anyways? Do you really love him, lust for him or are you just going to chop off his head the next chance you get?"

Muraki spluttered and Hisoka yelped, posture straightening more than what seemed possible as Muraki's hands worked the lace.

"That's none of your business, brat. Now sit still."

"Is so. He is my partner after all, I'd like to know what you wanna do with him so I know how much he's worth."

An interested light entered Muraki's eye despite the dismayed holler from the cell on the other side of the room.

"Really? Money you say? How much if I love him?"  
"Same price as on Tsubaki's ship. If you rape him, though,. it gets higher."  
"How high?"  
"Seventy percent. If you wanna chop off his head then you better be ready to invest life and house insurance. Damaged goods and all."

"Hisoka wa Hidoooooooiiiiiiii!"

"Quiet!"  
Both Hisoka and Muraki returned to their conversation. A whistle left the psychopath's lips and he winced.

"That much?"  
"Well yes, after all you plan to kill him again once you reattach Saki's head so I might not get him back. He's the finest in my inventory though Watari comes a quick second."

"Eh!"

"Quiet!"

ToT!

"Really? And how expensive is the scientist? I'd like a lot to have another capable hand on my side."

"A bit less expensive than Tsuzuki, though I'm afraid his value has decreased a bit due to his ramblings. Rather unfortunate. Besides, he may blow up your lab with his research."

Hisoka handed Muraki a pamphlet.

"It's all in there, the research that is."  
"High quality sex-changing serums?"  
"Yes I know. Strange isn't it? He hands that out to all of my customers, I've actually had to punish him a few times."

Hisoka winced as he felt his hair tugged.

"Careful, you might damage private property."  
"Private property? You mean that you're not the High Pimp?"  
"No, that's Tatsumi. I'm Pimp #2 though I am unfortunately sold as well at times. I can't believe how many perverts are in the world and careful with the hair!"

"Right, sorry. So, how much do you cost?"

"Eh...you know, I'm not sure. Tatsumi usually deals with that, you may want to see him if you can get into Meifu again. Ow! The address is in here along with some of the prices."  
Handing another pamphlet to the now very interested Muraki, Hisoka hissed.

"What did I tell you about being careful? If you're going to damage-"

"Style."  
"Style, whatever, then be careful! Psycho. Yeesh."

"Alright, alright I'm sorry. I'm done now."

Ignoring Tsuzuki's laughter, Hisoka shifted and Muraki kneeled in front of him, looking at the rack beneath the dainty feet.

"So, tell me bouya, have you ever had to buy Tsuzuki?"  
"Actually, I own him."

The proudness laced in the boy's voice was something that made Muraki blink as he looked at the selections.

"Really?"  
"Yup, so Tatsumi has to confer with me every time he has a customer. He's mine after all. Not all mine but it's his fault anyways."  
"Really now? How so?"

"Tsuzuki is the reason that the Shinigami don't get paid anymore. He seems to destroy at least one building every case we have. That's not including all the romps he has with Terazuma. They used to destroy the library every chance they get but now they destroy the recreation facilities."

Muraki nodded and finally chose a pair, affixing the shoes to the delicate feet.

Standing, he stepped back and clapped, admiring his work.

"There! All done!"

Looking down at the red velveteen and frills, Hisoka tugged at the dress with his lacy white gloved hands and frowned, ringlets bouncing around his face.

"I hate you."

"I love you too, Doll. Now go sit on the shelf like a good little boy. There you go. Heres a book for you troubles."

The book was swiped from his hand faster than Muraki could blink and Hisoka was scampering to his shelf, pumps clicking on the hardwood floor. Jumping onto the shelf, he proceeded to gnaw and tear at the book with his eyes, reading it hungrily.

"Your turn next, Tsuzuki!"

"Nuuuu!" TOT


End file.
